Separation Success
Preventing Separation Issues

Teach your puppy to really relax on their own.
It takes time for puppies to be comfortable with being left on their own, even for short periods. We should never force a puppy to experience isolation before they are ready but there are some key things you can do to help set your puppy up for success.
Developing Independence
We expect a lot from puppies and often leave them alone, even for short periods of time, before they are ready. This is a recipe for separation anxiety, also known as isolation distress, which is notoriously difficult to cure.
Prevention is easier than cure.
The longer you spend with your pup when they’re young, the less likely they are to suffer from separation anxiety when they’re older. This is because, with security comes confidence; the confidence to explore the world and develop independence.
If your pup doesn’t chose to spend time away from you in the house, then they’re certainly not ready to be left alone, even for short periods of time.
If you’ve already started leaving your pup alone, I’d encourage you to invest in a webcam to ensure that the pup isn’t already suffering from separation anxiety. The pup will be likely to bark, howl, whine, toilet inside and become destructive if they are stressed.
Puppies are at particular risk from developing separation anxiety as they haven’t yet developed independence. Fearful dogs are also at high risk, as a dogs that haven’t been given adequate time to toilet before being left, and dogs that do a lot of fast physical exercise immediately before being left, or are left so long that they get bored.
Security
Dogs with a secure attachment to at least one person are less likely to suffer from separation anxiety, as long as the dog isn’t isolated too early. The longer you spend with your dog whilst they’re young, the more secure they’ll feel.
They’ll also need their own space in which they feel secure. If your dog doesn’t chose to go to their bed or crate, then it’s unlikely to be the dog’s safe haven, so the first thing you need to do it give them a really great place to call their own.
In this article I’m going to use the term crate, but it’ll refer to anywhere that you’d like your dog to feel safe.
Their crate is not a place for children, not matter how friendly your dog is.
Their crate needs to be really comfortable, big enough for them to stretch out and should ideally be covered.
The crate should not be used as a prison/punishment as this will negate the good associations that you are going to form.
Your dog should think that their crate has magical properties as every time they pass it they smell a really good treat in it. They’ll be rewarding themselves for going into the crate. It’s even better if they have to sniff out the treat, as sniffing releases serotonin – the happy chemical, oxytocin – the bonding hormone.
When your dog goes into their crate voluntarily, rain some treats down next to them, thereby rewarding them for going into the crate, and also forming positive associations with the crate.
Close the crate door with the dog on the outside. Show the dog some treats and sprinkle them inside the crate. Encourage the dog to sniff at the treats. Build up the excitement until the dog is desperate to get into the crate. Open the door for the dog and leave it open while they eat the treats.
Never leave your dog confined for longer than the bladder will allow. Dogs do come pre-programmed not to toilet close to where they sleep, but will if they have no choice. The taboo of toileting close to the bed will soon disappear if the dog is desperate. The dog needing to toilet is thought to be a major contributor to separation anxiety.
Encouraging Independence
There are some easy ways in which your dog can be rewarded for choosing to spend time away from you.
Take a Kong and put a piece of rope or strong string through the middle. Tie a large knot in the bottom end of the rope. You now have a Kong that can be tied to something static, such as a radiator or the inside of the dog’s crate.
Fill the Kong with something that dog really, really enjoys. I wouldn’t worry too much at this point whether the food is healthy or not, just make sure that your dog loves it, and that ideally it’s very smelly!
Tie the Kong to something that the dog can’t move that’s in a different room to the one that you’re going to spend time in, and make sure they have something comfortable to lie on.
Ideally the dog will leave you to investigate the smell of food in the other room. They won’t be able to bring the Kong back to you as it’s tied to something, so if they chose to stay and eat what’s in the Kong, the content of the Kong is the reward for choosing to spend time away from you. If after about 5 minutes the dog hasn’t left you to investigate, casually walk into the other room without saying anything, and see if your dog notices the Kong and starts to eat. If they do, quietly leave the room.
It’s important at this stage that if they want to, they are able to come back to you, so make sure that you do not lock the dog in a room. We want this to be voluntary. They won’t develop the confidence to explore if when they pluck up the courage to leave you, you then lock them in the room.
Leave some great treats like smelly sprats in different rooms, initially in plain sight, again rewarding the dog for exploration. When you see them becoming more confident about spending time away from the members of your family, you can start hiding the treats so that they have to sniff them out. Sniffing releases serotonin which promotes happiness, further rewarding the dog for increased independence.
Rewarding Independence
If your dog follows you around the house and is not happy to be away from you, even if you haven’t left the house, they are not ready to be left alone. Leaving your dog alone when they don’t feel secure is highly likely to result in your dog suffering from separation anxiety.
Your dog must get used to being in a different room from you before they’re ready for you to leave them alone in the house.
Make a list of chores and the time it’ll take you to perform them. Order them by shortest time first, e.g.
- pick up the post – 30s
- empty the washing machine – 1m
- empty the dishwasher – 3m
- put the washing out – 5m
- have a shower – 10m
Start with the shortest chore – pick up the post
- scatter food in the furthest point of the kitchen
- enter the hall
- close the kitchen/hall door
- pick up the post
- return to the kitchen
- the dog is still eating
In this example we’ve given the dog a job to do – sniffing. Sniffing produces serotonin which increases happiness. The job that the dog was given lasted longer than the period of separation.
Slowly build up to the chores that last longer.
Hatting
Hatting…
Or ‘The creation of a visual cue that tells your dog you are currently unavailable, regardless of whether present or absent”…
Or “Presence doesn’t mean access”
For some dogs, we need a way to tell them that we aren’t available, we are boring and uninteresting and therefore there is no point bothering us.
This can be useful for dogs with separation anxiety, and for dogs who need to learn to calm down in the house due to previously learned attention seeking behaviours. (Attention seeking behaviour should be taken seriously and not treated as if the dog is bad or wrong, dogs seeking attention are dogs that are not getting either the right amount of attention, or the right kind of attention!)
Dogs form associations between visual cues and our behaviour all the time, they are doing it constantly and this is how they know what’s going to happen before it does, it’s how they get excited for a walk when you have simply walked to the hook the lead is on, or start the dinner dance when you close your laptop and say ‘right then’ and head to the kitchen.
We can, if we are careful and clever about it, use this to our advantage!
Find a hat, or scarf (you can use other items, but a hat or scarf is convenient, cheap and portable), one that fits the following criteria.
- Your dog has never seen it before.
- It is of a colour they can actually perceive.
- It changes your outline slightly, so they are aware of the difference between you wearing it and not wearing it.
- They are not scared of it.
The rules of ‘hatting’ are as follows:
- When you wear the hat, there is no dog. No eye contact, no talk, no touch.
- Hat goes on and off without any link to dogs behaviour.
- If your dog has some sort of urgent need, you must remove hat and deal with dogs need in a way that looks like the two events are not related, so the dog never thinks you stopped hatting as a result of his behaviour.
To introduce hatting, ideally you’ll have already spotted some sedentary or at least, stationary behaviour from you that your dog tends to assume means you aren’t available for attention. Things like ironing, playing on your phone, using the computer will often meet this criteria.
If you already have something like that, simply wear the hat whilst you do it, remembering to remove the hat before you finish doing whatever it is.
If you do not have such a set up already, or can’t identify one, the best thing to do is hat whilst reading a book (so your hands are occupied and you are clearly doing something). Do not hat by sitting staring into space, as your dog will find that weird and creepy and possibly be a bit upset!
The goal is that when you hat, your dog does not try to get attention from you and gradually learns he cannot get attention from you, without ever really needing to. This should look like nothing is really happening in the initial stages.
Very occasionally you’ll get a dog who will try to get your attention (most likely in attention seekers rather than separation anxiety cases), as long as you are not building frustration or distress by ignoring, carry on. If you think there is the slightest chance you are building frustration or distress, stop, time sessions for a shorter duration, re-evaluate as there’s the possibility that this method is not suitable for your dog right now.
Once you get past the initial stages and you think your dog has grasped that you wearing the hat = unavailable (you should have a relaxed dog who has taken himself off to do his own thing, sleep, chew a toy etc) you can start to add in other hatting situations. So if you initially hatted whilst on the laptop, you may now try hatting whilst watching tv, or hatting whilst ironing, or hatting whilst reading a book in the kitchen.
Gradually add more hatting situations, OR increase the duration but don’t do both at once, take it steady!
Hatting can be very good for dogs who assume that when you go out they are missing out on a fun trip, and also great for dogs who can see you leave once you are outside your property. Once they understand the hat = no attention/this activity is not for you’, it transfers quite well to you leaving… you were unavailable anyway, so there’s no cause for frustration!
It rarely works all by itself however, so you will have to work on absence duration, desensitisation or counter conditioning to leaving triggers as well as employing ‘hatting’, but it can be a useful tool in your toolkit!
You are NOT really ignoring your dog, he just thinks you are, this is not about ignoring a dogs genuine need or distress, ever.
Leaving the House
Start by desensitising your dog to signs that you’re going to leave the house; pick up your keys and carry them around the house, put your shoes on and take them off, wear your coat around the house etc.
I’d suggest investing in a webcam, or an app such as Alfred so that you can monitor your dog and quickly return to them if they’re showing signs of stress. Start by leaving the house for very short periods of time, less than a minute and very gradually build up from there. It would be good to leave your dog with something to do; a Kong for example, but don’t let the Kong become a predictor of you leaving the house.
Physical Exercise
It’s not a good idea to give your dog lots of fast physical exercise in the hope of tiring him out before leaving him on his own.
Exercise raises adrenaline which makes it difficult to be calm. This can cause separation anxiety.
Read the article on routine for a better way to tire your dog.
The Signs
Urinating and Defecating
Some dogs urinate or defecate when left alone or separated from their owner. If a dog urinates or defecates in the presence of his owner, their house soiling probably isn’t caused by separation anxiety.
Barking and Howling
A dog who has separation anxiety might bark or howl when left alone or when separated from their owner. This kind of barking or howling is persistent and doesn’t seem to be triggered by anything except being left alone.
Chewing, Digging and Destruction
Some dogs with separation anxiety chew on objects, door frames or window sills, dig at doors and doorways (exit points), or destroy household objects when left alone or separated from their owner. These behaviours can result in self-injury, such as broken teeth, cut and scraped paws and damaged nails. If a dog’s chewing, digging and destruction are caused by separation anxiety, they don’t usually occur in the owner’s presence.
Escaping
A dog with separation anxiety might try to escape from an area where they’re confined when they’re left alone or separated from his owner. The dog might attempt to dig and chew through doors or windows, which could result in self-injury, such as broken teeth, cut and scraped front paws and damaged nails. If the dog’s escape behaviour is caused by separation anxiety, it doesn’t occur when their owner is present.
Pacing
Some dogs walk or trot along a specific path in a fixed pattern when left alone or separated from their owner. Some pacing dogs move around in circular patterns, while others walk back and forth in straight lines. If a dog’s pacing behaviour is caused by separation anxiety, it usually doesn’t occur when his owner is present.
Coprophagia
When left alone or separated from their owner, some dogs defecate and then consume all or some of their excrement. If a dog eats excrement because of separation anxiety, they probably don’t perform that behaviour in the presence of the owner.